The Real Story...Part One

It began somewhere just under 5 years ago. I had been "let go" (translate: dumped) by the guy I was "in love" with. Ha. Anyways, my ego was bruised and I was on the lookout for someone to, well, make me feel better about myself. (no matter how long ago...that still sounds awful) So anyways, somewhere around December of 2004 I began...well we could call it dating (but it wasn't) a guy that I barely knew (met through a friend)...who lived across the country. Yeahhh, great idea Shannon. But lets be honest, he was nice to me made me laugh, and in the whole 2 or so months that we talked we never saw each other. Which was really a very good thing because I honestly just was not attracted to this guy, like I said...he was nice to me. Around the time that I was realizing how ridiculous this whole thing was, I began working as a waitress at a local restaurant. I remember the day of my orientation (I watched a video), but I remember walking in to the restaurant, it was almost empty, and out walked one of the managers. At that moment I felt my breath catch in my throat and silently cursed myself for not changing out of my school uniform (read: v-neck sweater, plaid skirt and knee socks). I didn't know what was going on...this flutter that I felt...something entirely different than I had ever felt before.

Then he spoke. He so eloquently told me to "watch the video, let me know when you're done" ahhh yes, he really was the romantic type....
I kept promising myself that I wouldn't get too caught up in feelings for this guy. Though I had told the other guy that it was "over" (not even sure what was there to end), and I was single...I could NOT start dating someone. After all, I was leaving for college that fall and THIS guy, this guy that make my heart pound out of my chest...well...he was at least 8...9...10? years older than me..that was obvious. I was only 19 and was quite sure I didn't want to know how old this guy was, I was happier not knowing. Happy to lust after this older guy. Then it happened, we actually took the leap past innocent work hour flirting, to him asking me out after work. And so it began...


to be continued...

The Bucket List

PS-DAVE IS CLEAR!!!!!!! WAHOOO!


Just a fun list passed along from a friensd...
Put an X next to the things you have done at some point in your life. Feel free to copy and play along on your own blog!

(x) Shot a gun (Once or twice....or every other week...)
(x) Gone on a blind date
(x) Skipped school.
(x) Watched someone die
( ) been to Canada
( ) Been to Alaska
( ) Been to Europe
( ) Been to Las Vegas
( ) Been to Mexico
(x) Been to Florida For 15 years!
(x) Been on a plane
( ) Been on a cruise ship
( ) Served on a jury (I do listen to inmates whine all day...does that count?)
(x) Been lost
( ) Gone to Washington , DC
(x) Swam in the ocean
(x) Cried yourself to sleep
(x) Played cops and robbers
(x) Played cowboys/girls and Indians
(x) Recently colored with crayons
(x) Sang Karaoke
(x) Paid for a meal with coins only
(x) Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t
(x) Made prank phone calls
(x) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose.
(x) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
(x) Danced in the rain (played)
(x) Written a letter to Santa Claus
(x) Been kissed under the mistletoe-
(x) Watched the sunrise with someone
(x) Blown bubbles
(x) Gone ice-skating
(x) Gone snow skiing
(x) Camped out under the stars.
(x) Seen something so beautiful that it took your breath away?
(x) Are or have been Married?
( ) Children?
(x) Have/had a Pet? <--He IS my child!
(x) Been skinny dipping outdoors
(x) Been fishing
(x) Been boating
(x) Been water skiing (and by (BEEN water skiing, I mean I put the skiis on and got drug along behind the boat)
(x) Been hiking
(x) Been camping in a trailer/RV (are we talking wilderness or at our family farm? Whatev, it counts)
(x) Flown in a small 4 seater airplane
( ) Flown in a glider
( ) Been flying in a hot air balloon –
( ) Been bungee-jumping or sky-diving (SOON I hope!!)
(x) Gone to a drive-in movie
( ) Done something that should have killed you <--How about done something that should have made my parents kill me?

Just breathe.

Some days really take it out of you. Nothing big really happened...just a mentally long day. So many thoughts recently...

May....Well the month of May has not proven to bring me much happiness...in fact, twice it has devastated my life. May 21, 2oo6 my Mom passed away, and May 15, 2009 my husband was diagnosed with Cancer. Today, I thought a lot about how those days have impacted my life. How every time I watch Dave walk out the door...I pray that I will have him with me for many years to come. This Thursday we meet with the Oncologist to go over test results to see if Dave is still cancer free, I am praying and praying!! While I do feel as though Dave and I have had a pretty optimistic attitude about things thus far, I also think it is okay that I have a good deal of anxiety over the upcoming appointment. Maybe these 4 month appointments will get easier with time...maybe not. In some ways I think that someone who loses a parent is jaded in a way. I try daily to see the best and tell others that "I am sure everything will be fine" and sometimes I believe it...and sometimes I say it because I feel as though if I tell people that I am scared and fear the future...that I would be giving in. That I would be letting Cancer win. So though I may shed more than a few tears at night by myself...and I may be completely paralyzed with fear from time to time...I will always tell people that we are okay, and we are sure everything is fine. Because that is how I cope, I refuse to give in, I refuse to let Cancer win. Today we are living, today we are well, today we are fine.