Uncharacteristic.

I am generally a "puppies and rainbows" kind of girl. While I have a good grip on reality, I also like to be postive and focus on the good. That said, I usually do not get excited about things until it is pretty much a sure thing thus limiting my chances for dissapointment. I do not focus on the negative, I just try to iove my day to day and get excited (REALLY excited) when it is called for.

This month I thought I was pregnant. REALLY, thought I was pregnant, I was 8 days late and while I was pretty scared at the thought of being pregnant right now...I quickly became very excited at the prospect of it. I found my mind wandering off to nurseries and onesies...I was pricing out cloth diapers and breast pumps. And I hadn't even taken a test. Then I did, and I was SURE it would be positive, I was almost confused when it was negative. Then, just like that I started and my dreams of pacifiers and cribs were replaced with Tampax and a headache. I am quite sure that my husband was relieved as we were not trying quite yet, however I was inexplicably dissapointed. I felt like I had lost something, even though it was something I never had!


This has made me think quite a bit about the many women who suffer from infertility...to want something so bad, and month after month feel so dissapointed...I cannot even begin to imagine how hard that is.

So...I am not pregnant...just bloated. Fun.