Cardboard testimonies. Mine?
Lost mom when I was 20, husband diagnosed with Testicular Cancer in our first year of marriage, unsure if we would ever have children. Thought God walked away from me.
Husband is Cancer free, and we are pregnant, God always has a plan!
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Monday, February 8, 2010
11 Weeks!
**I will try to get a bump picture up this week**
I apologize for the extreme lack of blogging...however my best friend has unfortunately become the toilet...not cute. I seem to be feeling a bit better these days so the plan is from here on out to blog at least once a week with the happenings of Dave and I and baby Jellybean.
•How far along?: 11 weeks
•How big is baby?: Jelly is the size of a small lime! Holy cow!
•Maternity clothes?: Um...YES. I was going to wait. Really, I was! But the bloat got out of control and now it's getting hard..and gosh darn it I was ready for an elastic waist!
•Stretch marks?: Nope...at least not yet!
•Sleep?: Eh. I am for sure tired all the time but the "sleeping like a rock" thing is kind of out the window for now (and probably forever). I wake up a lot at night and always have to get up at least once or twice to go to the bathroom.
•Best moment this week?: Hmmmmm. Probably getting maternity pants. Thats sad. But stay tuned! Next week will be much more fun in the Jellybean dept.
•Movement?: None that I can feel, but knowing my kid he's doing backflips!
•Food cravings?: Fruit, fruit and more fruit. Strawberries, lemons, kiwi, oranges, grapes...you name it!
•Labor signs?: None, and I would like to keep it that way.
•Belly button in or out?: Innie.
•What I miss: Going to bed at night and not waking up until my alarm goes off. Oh and being able to eat a meal. I usually get halfway through and am STUFFED then in an hour I am ravenous.
•What I'm looking forward to: Our NT scan next Tuesday!
•Milestone: I am starting to feel a bit calmer as my first trimester comes to a close (in a week or so) and the whole not hugging the toilet all day thing is pretty nice!
As a side note, week before last (at 9 weeks) we had our first appointment and we were able to see Jellybean...it was one of the best moments of my life!
I apologize for the extreme lack of blogging...however my best friend has unfortunately become the toilet...not cute. I seem to be feeling a bit better these days so the plan is from here on out to blog at least once a week with the happenings of Dave and I and baby Jellybean.
•How far along?: 11 weeks
•How big is baby?: Jelly is the size of a small lime! Holy cow!
•Maternity clothes?: Um...YES. I was going to wait. Really, I was! But the bloat got out of control and now it's getting hard..and gosh darn it I was ready for an elastic waist!
•Stretch marks?: Nope...at least not yet!
•Sleep?: Eh. I am for sure tired all the time but the "sleeping like a rock" thing is kind of out the window for now (and probably forever). I wake up a lot at night and always have to get up at least once or twice to go to the bathroom.
•Best moment this week?: Hmmmmm. Probably getting maternity pants. Thats sad. But stay tuned! Next week will be much more fun in the Jellybean dept.
•Movement?: None that I can feel, but knowing my kid he's doing backflips!
•Food cravings?: Fruit, fruit and more fruit. Strawberries, lemons, kiwi, oranges, grapes...you name it!
•Labor signs?: None, and I would like to keep it that way.
•Belly button in or out?: Innie.
•What I miss: Going to bed at night and not waking up until my alarm goes off. Oh and being able to eat a meal. I usually get halfway through and am STUFFED then in an hour I am ravenous.
•What I'm looking forward to: Our NT scan next Tuesday!
•Milestone: I am starting to feel a bit calmer as my first trimester comes to a close (in a week or so) and the whole not hugging the toilet all day thing is pretty nice!
As a side note, week before last (at 9 weeks) we had our first appointment and we were able to see Jellybean...it was one of the best moments of my life!
Monday, January 4, 2010
The two lines that changed my life...
Yes the Picture is fuzzy....But I am Pregnant!!
Dave and I could not be happier and Panzer...well he is still marinating on the idea. We found out on Monday December 21 and I had blood work done the same day Beta was 43 which is right in the normal range (actually a bit above average) for how early I was. SO today I am right around 6 weeks pregnant, not feeling so hot but also not entirely miserable so I will count my blessings. Now here is my warning: from here on out on this blog I plan to be completely and sometimes brutaly honest about the baby baking process. Because even though it may be ROUGH some days, I don't ever want to forget this...and I want be able to look back and see how far we have come! We told my dad on Christmas day which was so much fun, I had planned on telling Dave's dad and brother on Christmas eve but Dave told them the day we found out, oh well!
To get the ball rolling...my pants? They don't fit. And it is NOT funny. Yes I am perfectly aware that it is bloat and not baby, not that it matters, my pants don't care that it is too early to be this snug.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Daddy's Hands
I have written several times about my mom and how much I love her. But this post, is about someone else.
I remember when I was a little girl my mom would tell me that I would find a man to marry that was like my dad. I often thought to myself that it would not be possible, I couldnt see how anyone could compare. (Dave does but thats another story). You often hear girls reffering to their dad as their hero...mine was more than that. My dad always included me. I was never much into shopping when I was younger so when my sister and my mom would go, my dad would be right there to spend the day with me. And believe you me, I was a talker...yeah yeah I still am. But that poor man endured endless hours of questions and...observations of a 6 year old. I remember feeling very important when we ran errands together or when he let me "help" with his whatever he needed to do that day. I have never forgotten those afternoons, in so many ways they shaped who I have become as an adult. I have a picture of my dad and I when I was about 12 or 13. I was holding a piece of train track for him while he did something in our backyard layout. Everytime I see that picture I think of all of the time he spent showing me how to do things, how he insilled a confidence in me that had helped me immensly in my life.
My dad had always been my safe place. Nomatter what, my father always took care of me, he pushed me gently in the right direction but always let me make my own decisions. After my mom died I spent a lot of time with my dad while Dave was working at night. I dont know if I could have gotten through that time without him. I needed him more then than probably any other time in my life. And he was there.
Thats the thing about my dad, he is always there.
I remember when I was a little girl my mom would tell me that I would find a man to marry that was like my dad. I often thought to myself that it would not be possible, I couldnt see how anyone could compare. (Dave does but thats another story). You often hear girls reffering to their dad as their hero...mine was more than that. My dad always included me. I was never much into shopping when I was younger so when my sister and my mom would go, my dad would be right there to spend the day with me. And believe you me, I was a talker...yeah yeah I still am. But that poor man endured endless hours of questions and...observations of a 6 year old. I remember feeling very important when we ran errands together or when he let me "help" with his whatever he needed to do that day. I have never forgotten those afternoons, in so many ways they shaped who I have become as an adult. I have a picture of my dad and I when I was about 12 or 13. I was holding a piece of train track for him while he did something in our backyard layout. Everytime I see that picture I think of all of the time he spent showing me how to do things, how he insilled a confidence in me that had helped me immensly in my life.
My dad had always been my safe place. Nomatter what, my father always took care of me, he pushed me gently in the right direction but always let me make my own decisions. After my mom died I spent a lot of time with my dad while Dave was working at night. I dont know if I could have gotten through that time without him. I needed him more then than probably any other time in my life. And he was there.
Thats the thing about my dad, he is always there.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
The Real Story...Part One
It began somewhere just under 5 years ago. I had been "let go" (translate: dumped) by the guy I was "in love" with. Ha. Anyways, my ego was bruised and I was on the lookout for someone to, well, make me feel better about myself. (no matter how long ago...that still sounds awful) So anyways, somewhere around December of 2004 I began...well we could call it dating (but it wasn't) a guy that I barely knew (met through a friend)...who lived across the country. Yeahhh, great idea Shannon. But lets be honest, he was nice to me made me laugh, and in the whole 2 or so months that we talked we never saw each other. Which was really a very good thing because I honestly just was not attracted to this guy, like I said...he was nice to me. Around the time that I was realizing how ridiculous this whole thing was, I began working as a waitress at a local restaurant. I remember the day of my orientation (I watched a video), but I remember walking in to the restaurant, it was almost empty, and out walked one of the managers. At that moment I felt my breath catch in my throat and silently cursed myself for not changing out of my school uniform (read: v-neck sweater, plaid skirt and knee socks). I didn't know what was going on...this flutter that I felt...something entirely different than I had ever felt before.
Then he spoke. He so eloquently told me to "watch the video, let me know when you're done" ahhh yes, he really was the romantic type....
I kept promising myself that I wouldn't get too caught up in feelings for this guy. Though I had told the other guy that it was "over" (not even sure what was there to end), and I was single...I could NOT start dating someone. After all, I was leaving for college that fall and THIS guy, this guy that make my heart pound out of my chest...well...he was at least 8...9...10? years older than me..that was obvious. I was only 19 and was quite sure I didn't want to know how old this guy was, I was happier not knowing. Happy to lust after this older guy. Then it happened, we actually took the leap past innocent work hour flirting, to him asking me out after work. And so it began...
to be continued...
Then he spoke. He so eloquently told me to "watch the video, let me know when you're done" ahhh yes, he really was the romantic type....
I kept promising myself that I wouldn't get too caught up in feelings for this guy. Though I had told the other guy that it was "over" (not even sure what was there to end), and I was single...I could NOT start dating someone. After all, I was leaving for college that fall and THIS guy, this guy that make my heart pound out of my chest...well...he was at least 8...9...10? years older than me..that was obvious. I was only 19 and was quite sure I didn't want to know how old this guy was, I was happier not knowing. Happy to lust after this older guy. Then it happened, we actually took the leap past innocent work hour flirting, to him asking me out after work. And so it began...
to be continued...
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
The Bucket List
PS-DAVE IS CLEAR!!!!!!! WAHOOO!
Just a fun list passed along from a friensd...
Put an X next to the things you have done at some point in your life. Feel free to copy and play along on your own blog!
(x) Shot a gun (Once or twice....or every other week...)
(x) Gone on a blind date
(x) Skipped school.
(x) Watched someone die
( ) been to Canada
( ) Been to Alaska
( ) Been to Europe
( ) Been to Las Vegas
( ) Been to Mexico
(x) Been to Florida For 15 years!
(x) Been on a plane
( ) Been on a cruise ship
( ) Served on a jury (I do listen to inmates whine all day...does that count?)
(x) Been lost
( ) Gone to Washington , DC
(x) Swam in the ocean
(x) Cried yourself to sleep
(x) Played cops and robbers
(x) Played cowboys/girls and Indians
(x) Recently colored with crayons
(x) Sang Karaoke
(x) Paid for a meal with coins only
(x) Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t
(x) Made prank phone calls
(x) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose.
(x) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
(x) Danced in the rain (played)
(x) Written a letter to Santa Claus
(x) Been kissed under the mistletoe-
(x) Watched the sunrise with someone
(x) Blown bubbles
(x) Gone ice-skating
(x) Gone snow skiing
(x) Camped out under the stars.
(x) Seen something so beautiful that it took your breath away?
(x) Are or have been Married?
( ) Children?
(x) Have/had a Pet? <--He IS my child!
(x) Been skinny dipping outdoors
(x) Been fishing
(x) Been boating
(x) Been water skiing (and by (BEEN water skiing, I mean I put the skiis on and got drug along behind the boat)
(x) Been hiking
(x) Been camping in a trailer/RV (are we talking wilderness or at our family farm? Whatev, it counts)
(x) Flown in a small 4 seater airplane
( ) Flown in a glider
( ) Been flying in a hot air balloon –
( ) Been bungee-jumping or sky-diving (SOON I hope!!)
(x) Gone to a drive-in movie
( ) Done something that should have killed you <--How about done something that should have made my parents kill me?
Just a fun list passed along from a friensd...
Put an X next to the things you have done at some point in your life. Feel free to copy and play along on your own blog!
(x) Shot a gun (Once or twice....or every other week...)
(x) Gone on a blind date
(x) Skipped school.
(x) Watched someone die
( ) been to Canada
( ) Been to Alaska
( ) Been to Europe
( ) Been to Las Vegas
( ) Been to Mexico
(x) Been to Florida For 15 years!
(x) Been on a plane
( ) Been on a cruise ship
( ) Served on a jury (I do listen to inmates whine all day...does that count?)
(x) Been lost
( ) Gone to Washington , DC
(x) Swam in the ocean
(x) Cried yourself to sleep
(x) Played cops and robbers
(x) Played cowboys/girls and Indians
(x) Recently colored with crayons
(x) Sang Karaoke
(x) Paid for a meal with coins only
(x) Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t
(x) Made prank phone calls
(x) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose.
(x) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
(x) Danced in the rain (played)
(x) Written a letter to Santa Claus
(x) Been kissed under the mistletoe-
(x) Watched the sunrise with someone
(x) Blown bubbles
(x) Gone ice-skating
(x) Gone snow skiing
(x) Camped out under the stars.
(x) Seen something so beautiful that it took your breath away?
(x) Are or have been Married?
( ) Children?
(x) Have/had a Pet? <--He IS my child!
(x) Been skinny dipping outdoors
(x) Been fishing
(x) Been boating
(x) Been water skiing (and by (BEEN water skiing, I mean I put the skiis on and got drug along behind the boat)
(x) Been hiking
(x) Been camping in a trailer/RV (are we talking wilderness or at our family farm? Whatev, it counts)
(x) Flown in a small 4 seater airplane
( ) Flown in a glider
( ) Been flying in a hot air balloon –
( ) Been bungee-jumping or sky-diving (SOON I hope!!)
(x) Gone to a drive-in movie
( ) Done something that should have killed you <--How about done something that should have made my parents kill me?
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Just breathe.
Some days really take it out of you. Nothing big really happened...just a mentally long day. So many thoughts recently...
May....Well the month of May has not proven to bring me much happiness...in fact, twice it has devastated my life. May 21, 2oo6 my Mom passed away, and May 15, 2009 my husband was diagnosed with Cancer. Today, I thought a lot about how those days have impacted my life. How every time I watch Dave walk out the door...I pray that I will have him with me for many years to come. This Thursday we meet with the Oncologist to go over test results to see if Dave is still cancer free, I am praying and praying!! While I do feel as though Dave and I have had a pretty optimistic attitude about things thus far, I also think it is okay that I have a good deal of anxiety over the upcoming appointment. Maybe these 4 month appointments will get easier with time...maybe not. In some ways I think that someone who loses a parent is jaded in a way. I try daily to see the best and tell others that "I am sure everything will be fine" and sometimes I believe it...and sometimes I say it because I feel as though if I tell people that I am scared and fear the future...that I would be giving in. That I would be letting Cancer win. So though I may shed more than a few tears at night by myself...and I may be completely paralyzed with fear from time to time...I will always tell people that we are okay, and we are sure everything is fine. Because that is how I cope, I refuse to give in, I refuse to let Cancer win. Today we are living, today we are well, today we are fine.
May....Well the month of May has not proven to bring me much happiness...in fact, twice it has devastated my life. May 21, 2oo6 my Mom passed away, and May 15, 2009 my husband was diagnosed with Cancer. Today, I thought a lot about how those days have impacted my life. How every time I watch Dave walk out the door...I pray that I will have him with me for many years to come. This Thursday we meet with the Oncologist to go over test results to see if Dave is still cancer free, I am praying and praying!! While I do feel as though Dave and I have had a pretty optimistic attitude about things thus far, I also think it is okay that I have a good deal of anxiety over the upcoming appointment. Maybe these 4 month appointments will get easier with time...maybe not. In some ways I think that someone who loses a parent is jaded in a way. I try daily to see the best and tell others that "I am sure everything will be fine" and sometimes I believe it...and sometimes I say it because I feel as though if I tell people that I am scared and fear the future...that I would be giving in. That I would be letting Cancer win. So though I may shed more than a few tears at night by myself...and I may be completely paralyzed with fear from time to time...I will always tell people that we are okay, and we are sure everything is fine. Because that is how I cope, I refuse to give in, I refuse to let Cancer win. Today we are living, today we are well, today we are fine.
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